Finding a Harry for your Malfoid

Art by the incredible @hayes_gens

Malfoid has swept up the hearts of men everywhere, myself included. She is, in so many ways, a perfect woman in a perfect love story.

But why is she perfect? Is it her beauty? Her tsundere personality? Her strength of will, her conviction, her loyalty to her family?

Well yes, actually, all those play a part.

Ultimately, it's her eternal and undying love of and loyalty to Harry Potter. Everything else is a cherry on top. From the second she laid her eyes on him on that bright July afternoon in Madam Malkin's, that boy was hers and it became her mission in life to make him understand that, whether he liked it or not (he does like it, eventually).

I want you to read through the fanfics, the posts discussing what their love looks like, the pictures of their future as a married couple. Look at the dissertations written about their perfect love as a modern day courtly love story. Look at how many men are turned from their life of misery, a life of self-inflicted suffering and isolation over the mere idea of a love story that did not exist a mere two weeks ago.

I want you to see what so many men are yearning for with a capital Y.

That woman they yearn for, the woman of their dreams that loves them and fights for them and stands by their side to the bitter end...

That woman can be you.

I know that this can be a rather controversial topic nowadays. Placing marriage and family and the home about your career is antithetical to what you've been taught.

"That's not a strong, powerful woman! She's trapped by her husband and forced to do his will!", you'll probably think. Or at the very least, you can hear that being said by a friend, a video, a teacher, or from a million other places.

Why? Why is a woman weak for standing by her man? Why is she inherently trapped? Is is because she "deserves" a vague "better"? Is she somehow beholden to his will, unable to do anything about it and is no better than his slave?

Before you answer that question, think again about how men are depicting Malfoid. Is she weak for standing by Harry? Is she inherently trapped in a marriage with Potter? Is she ever shown as wanting someone "better" that Harry? Is she beholden to Harry's will, unable to do anything about it and is no better than his slave?

No.

She stands against her father and against Voldemort when she stands by that half-blood, Harry, while still standing for her values and never compromising on them. Do you really think that a witch of her skill, with her force of personality and headstrong nature would ever be trapped in a marriage with Harry? Despite the wizards with undoubtedly purer blood, does Malfoid ever question her devotion to Harry? Do you really think she would EVER allow Harry to force his will upon her?

No, of course not.

Harry completes her. Malfoid completes him. They are a pair of complementary halves, the strengths of one covering the weaknesses of the other. That's just what men and women are, and that's why Harry and Malfoid getting married is the happy ending that we all want for them. Their union in holy matrimony binds their souls together, two souls that were destined to be together despite the entire world attempting (and failing miserably) to tear them apart.

I want you to sit with that. A married woman who is also strong, using her strength to support their relationship and relying on her man to use his strength to protect her when she needs it.

That can be you, if you want it.

Of course, life isn't a fairy tale. You have your flaws. You've made your mistakes. You've said and done things you regret. You aren't this perfect woman that these men here are yearning for.

That's quite alright, as those men will never be Harry. They'll be just as flawed as you.

I understand it goes against what you may feel inside and what you've undoubtedly been told, but that flawed man you have a crush on, be it online or in real life, is good enough.

He won't be able to jet you around the world on vacations across the globe every weekend. He won't be able to buy you expensive gifts on a whim, showering you with jewelry and clothes whenever you two come together again. He won't be able to fight off a pack of wolves, seven bears, and a zoo's worth of lions with his bare hands.

He won't be able to make all your dreams come true, but he will make the one that matter come true.

All you have to do is to love him. Love him and be loyal to him until death do you part and he will do it all for you.

He will move mountains. He will throw a lasso around the moon and drag it down to Earth for you. He will drag himself across broken glass for your safety.

He will bring you chocolates on his payday.

He will worship your beauty, especially in the early mornings when you wake up, when you've been sick for several days, and most importantly when you're 8 months pregnant with his child and feeling incredibly fat.

He will not take you to that one restaurant that you said you liked but you didn't really like but you only said you liked because he was super excited to go there and try that one dish.

He will love you, not only for who you are today but also the woman that you can be. You need to love him, not only for who he is today but also the man he can be.

That future you, though, may be a ways off.

Maybe you're unhappy with how you've acted in your private life.

Maybe you've made your private life public, with a cheap monthly subscription that you were promised would make you rich and happy and yet somehow managed to not only do neither but in fact do the exact opposite.

Maybe you've pushed yourself to achieve degree after degree, promotion after promotion, and now you have a career that's gone higher than your parents could have ever imagined. It's a cold comfort when you sit there in the office at 8:37 PM on a Friday night, pouring over spreadsheets when that pit in your stomach informs you that you rather be tucking a child into bed for the third time that night because he just won't accept his bed time.

Maybe you've spent a good portion of you life thinking, talking, and writing about how men really are the root of all evil and can never make you happy, despite the longing you feel as you fall asleep to have the same pair of warm arms wrap around you night after night without you worrying if he'll be gone by morning.

You can't take it back, but you can stop.

Today.

Right now.

It won't wipe your slate clean, but it will stop any more from being written upon it. There will be men out there that will reject you for what you've done, men unable to accept that you have honestly and truly put it in the past. Those sort of men may be the men you want most, a real life Harry right before your eyes.

That's the price you pay for your mistakes, just as men like me will be rejected by our own real life Malfoid for the mistakes we've made.

But that's quite alright, because it just wasn't meant to be.

There will be a man who loves you, flaws and all. He will be your Harry, even if he doesn't look a thing like him. He will not throw your past back into your face. He will continue to improve himself every day so that he can give every new part of himself to you and to your family that you are building together.

He's out there right now, probably yearning for Malfoid and writing about what he loves about her.

Or maybe he's not. Maybe he doesn't even use social media at all. Maybe he's at a church, or at the gym, or somewhere else in the city you live in or will live in.

It's on you to find him.

I warn you: be careful with your heart and choose carefully from the men that pursue you. Not all of them will be honest, but I don't need to tell you that.

Get yourself in shape in every way possible. You are not just a woman, you are a lady. You must look and act the part.

Listen to the older women in your life, the happily married ones and the depressed single ones. They'll say what I said in a much better fashion.

Yearn, openly and with your whole heart, for your Harry.

Become the Malfoid you know you can be.

I believe in you, and I know you can do it.